Costco Hot Dog or Die

Nick Martinez
2 min readSep 21, 2020


There is absolutely nobody more ride-or-die for Costco than me, or at least that’s what I thought.

For those of you too lazy to click the tweet, basically the current standing president of Costco complained to co-founder and former president of Costco that they were losing too much money on the ‘$1.50 Hot Dog and a Drink’ combo deal. To which the former co-founder, Jim Sinegal, at 84 years of age promptly replied, “If you raise the effing hot dog, I will kill you”.

This absolutely electric quote from Costco co-founder is something that I am considering getting tattooed on my body. I may very well name my first-born child after Jim. I may actually attempt to get a re-print of my high school year book where that’s my senior quote (and I will track down all of my former peers to get HAGs written down cause I can’t have my future kid ‘Jim’ thinking I was lame and didn’t get people to sign my yearbook). I may ask my son Jim and daughter Jimantha to put it on my tombstone. I am just absolutely enamored by it.

Yeah have your laughs about my awkward high school senior portrait you sacks of crap

Some of you are likely puzzled as to why any of this is so important, but you all fail to see that Sinegal is American hero. The $1.50 Hot Dog and a Drink combo is something that holds the dwindling fabric of America together. Currently as a nation, we are so incredibly divided. If we let the current ignoramus of a president come out and make a bunch of radical decisions with no regard for anyone but the benefit of himself and his followers, we’d catch ourselves in hot water (not the one the elixir of hot water that the hot dog combo is boiled in, but like in a bad way) [we’d for sure have to vote him out in the next presidential election].

My King Jim Sinegal on his throne

The fact that Jim Sinegal is willing to put his neck out for the $1.50 Hot Dog and a Drink would make him a perfect nominee to receive a purple heart. We owe this man everything and more.

Songs played while writing:


The Weeknd — Die For You